Friday, February 6, 2009

Bring On the Elegance!

"Let us be together, let us eat together,
let us be vital together, let us be radiating truth,
radiating the light of life, never shall we denounce anyone,
never entertain negativity."
--The Upanishads, ancient Vedic text

When asked to think of a memorable dining experience, in terms of atmosphere, presentation, flavors, and other factors, how many of us will recall an experience in a restaurant, rather than a dining experience in our own homes? Why should we find an experience in a strange location, served by strangers, dining amongst other tables of strangers more memorable than our own homes, where we are in familiar surroundings, attended to by loved ones, dining in the company of loved ones, eating food that has been prepared with love? In these tough economic times we can all benefit from reducing our food bills by not eating out as often, but if we take something away without replacing it with something of equal or greater significance, we may feel that we are deprived. Why not substitute the dining-out experience with an elegant dining-in experience?

Hindu tradition says that if food is prepared lovingly it is more easily digested. Following Ayurvedic protocol which calls for a “rounded” or “balanced” variety of flavors (sweet, sour, salty, pungent, etc.) to soothe the spirit as well as the palate, the individual is actually satisfied with less food, feeling fuller sooner. I think that we respond positively to elegant presentation and atmosphere because it reflects the care and mindfulness of the person(s) preparing the meal and atmosphere.

Why do we set the table more elegantly, and pay more attention to preparation of food and atmosphere when guests come to dine, and not when “just the family” is dining? (If you are a member of a household, how many meals do you eat together each week? If you are single, how many meals do you eat standing up at the counter, not even bothering to sit down, let alone set the table?)

The French possess a most marvelous attitude towards dining. Whether they are eating a picnic lunch, an evening meal after a long day’s work, or a Sunday repast, they bring an element of style to the experience. The French have an extraordinary knack for bringing style to the mundane, for elevating a daily dining ritual to a simple elegance. This attention to detail is evident in their preparation and presentation of food, harmony and balance of flavors, table placement, the atmosphere, the pacing of the meal, and much more. They have practiced it so long it is innate, and many are not even aware of how wonderfully they perform their dining ritual. There is no reason that we cannot follow their lead. It is easily achieved with little expense, and one can receive a wealth of return for the effort! Most households have a tablecloth, or a set of placemats, an array of dinnerware and eating instruments (Yes, most cutlery sets come with salad forks as well as main course forks!) Bringing elegance to each meal mostly has to do with mindfulness and a little attention to detail. For quite a while, American culture has emphasized quantity over quality, but it is the quality, the attention that we imbue upon it that is memorable.

Thich Nhat Hanh speaks of the importance of mindfulness, paying attention to everything, every experience in our day, including breathing. Mindfulness can slow down the frenzied pace of the day. So many of us eat non-nutritive, tasteless, processed food so quickly that we do not even taste it. This cannot be good for either the body or the spirit.

So, for your next meal, and every meal to follow, I propose we do the following:

--Set the table, paying attention to the visual, the aesthetic. Make it beautiful and soothing.
--Place a flower or two (real or silk) in a vase on the table.
--Arrange the dinnerware and cutlery elegantly (and correctly!)
--Lower the lighting, perhaps add a candle or two.
--Turn off the television and play some soothing music. Turn off the cell phones, and turn the ringer off the land line. Let voicemail take a message.
--Opt for courses, rather than country style, one course at a time, so you pay attention and really taste the food.
--Eat slowly.
--Maintain pleasant conversation.
--Use good table manners.
--On Sunday, or one other day, you may want to make dining a real occasion, and dress up for the meal.

If you are a family that never eats together, it’s time to begin again. Make meals together a priority. It will help you pay attention to your loved ones, and will do wonders for family relationships. If you are eating on paper plates with plastic cutlery, do yourself a favor -- value yourself a little more, and save the paper and plastic for pot luck dinners and picnics. Food looks so much better on a real plate! All of this requires only a little investment of your attention, care and time. The return on your investment will come to you in improved family relationships, actually tasting the food, and, most importantly, happiness.


“Do we need to make a special effort to enjoy the beauty of the blue sky? Do we have to practice to be able to enjoy it? No, we just enjoy it. Each second, each minute of our lives can be like this. Wherever we are, any time, we have the capacity to enjoy the sunshine,the presence of each other, even the sensation of our breathing. We don't need to go to China to enjoy the blue sky. We don't have to travel into the future to enjoy our breathing. We can be in touch with these things right now.” --Thich Nhat Hanh

“If we do not change our daily lives,we cannot change the world. “ – Thich Nhat Hanh

“The foundation of happiness is mindfulness. The basic condition for being happy is our consciousness of being happy. If we are not aware that we are happy, we are not really happy. When we have a toothache, we know that not having a toothache is a wonderful thing. But when we do not have a toothache, we are still not happy. A non-toothache is very pleasant. There are so many things that are enjoyable, but when we don’t practice mindfulness, we don’t appreciate them. When we practice mindfulness, we come to cherish these things and we learn how to protect them. By taking good care of the present moment, we take good care of the future. Working for peace in the future is to work for peace in the present moment.”
--Thich Nhat Hanh